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Regret

Congratulations, you did it! You made it through another year. Doesn’t matter if you ran, full-steam-ahead across 2019’s finish line, or if you barely hobbled past it bruised and battered. You DID it!

With the closing of 2019, we can look in the rearview mirror and bid whatever it was that was holding is back, be it bad relationships, toxic mindsets, or even being our own worst enemy, a farewell. It’s time to focus on what’s right in front of us…

A new day. 

A new month.

A new year. 

A new DECADE.

I guarantee that if you look back over the last year —  better yet, the last decade — you’ll see how far you’ve come in realizing your dreams and goals. When looking back, you’ll see how much you’ve grown and evolved. You’ll see how far you’ve come from being the person you once were.

As cliché as it may seem, you really do need to take a look at where you’ve been to see where you’re going.

But what if you look back and the overwhelming feeling you get is regret? 

What do you do then? 

How do you move on with a relentless voice of “should’ve, could’ve, would’ve”?

First of all, realize you’re not alone. Many people are in the same boat as you. In fact, research shows that most people who regret something, don’t regret something they did, rather, they regret something they didn’t do. They regret inaction. It seems that people have an easier time dealing with, and getting over, mistakes they made because they did something. It’s harder to get over the unknown of something that we feel should have been done or what we could have become.

It’s in the unknown where we can get stuck.

This year, which begins a brand new decade, make goals that are:

  • Tangible, measurable, and specific. 

Think “I want to lose 10 lbs this month” instead of “I need to get in better shape”. 

The first is specific and doable, the latter is conceptual and easier to let go.

  • Significant and Matter. 

To YOU, that is. If you want to lose weight because you want to look better for other people, then you’re not doing it for yourself. If you want to lose weight because you want to feel better in order to be more present and active in your own life, then you’ll be more likely to stick to your goals. 

  • Bite-Size and Daily. 

Running a marathon is an awesome goal…for a runner who is in shape. And it very well may be a fantastic goal for someone who isn’t in shape, yet. But in order to stick with it, give yourself bite-size, daily goals within your huge goal. Start out by going for a walk which will turn into a jog which will turn into a short run which will turn into a longer run… You get the point. Start small. End big! Just make sure you’re working toward your goal on a daily basis. And savor your small victories.

We all live with regret. It’s what we do with the motivation that it brings that can make a difference moving forward. All is not lost. Our past does not define our future. It is true that we are the sum total of our experiences. Our choices shape us. We can choose to do more and be more present. Life will inevitably smack us around a bit, yes, but we can choose to live with fewer regrets.

We have entered into the Roaring 20s. 

Find your gumption and roar in the face of regrets that will never be. 

This year is new.

So are your choices.


Sources:

https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Femo0000326

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